The Scilly Swim Challenge, held by SwimQuest, is a unique event. It is stressed from the very beginning that it is a challenge, not a race, and that we are there to have fun. It doesn’t matter if you are pulled out and put onto a boat because you are falling behind, need a break, or simply need some extra support. There is no judgement. You still get your medal, and you have still completed the challenge.
Swimmers support swimmers. Kayakers support the swimmers. The local community supports the swimmers. And the organisers? They support, encourage and keep the swimmers safe 150%.
Something I kept to myself about the Scilly Swim Challenge was that the day of the swim was exactly 15 years since I was hit by a car while cycling; the accident that ultimately led to me becoming a wheelchair user.
Fifteen years of non-stop pain.
I felt like I should mark that anniversary somehow.
I had booked the Scilly Swim long before I realised it fell exactly 15 years after my accident. I quite simply entered because it looked amazing, I liked the name and because the Isles of Scilly was somewhere both my mum and I had always wanted to visit.
After my back injury late last year, I decided that this year my swimming and everything else I do will be because I enjoy it. Not because I am responding to pressure, expectations or the constant “what’s next?” that I often get from other people.
The image below was taken at around 6:30am by Katia, and most people will probably just see me smiling.
But there is a lot behind that smile.
I was cold from the rain. I was tired because we had met at 5:45am. I was excited that we were going to attempt the full route. I was looking forward to seeing wildlife and to swim in different parts of the Scilly Isles.
But most of all, I was smiling because sitting on that start line proved every single person who had ever put limits on me because I am disabled wrong.
That smile represents the journey I have been on to get to a point where I can sit on a start line and take on an event like this.
And 15 years after the accident that changed my life, that meant more to me than anyone watching could possibly have known.
Looking back at the event is a little like looking back at my journey with CRPS and chronic pain.
Swim 1 – St Mary’s to St Agnes, 3km
The first swim from St Mary’s to St Agnes was choppy, with a lot of swell. It was a grey and foggy morning, and the conditions reminded me of the early days after my accident, when I suddenly found myself in a kind of limbo — being told one thing, while feeling something completely different and not being quite sure what was going on. The conditions in the water were supposed to be great which is why we were doing the full route, but swimming in that water was, at times tricky, messy and due to the large waves and swell you were sometimes suddenly unsure of where you were meant to be going.
Swim 2 – St Agnes to Bryher via Sampson, 6km
The second swim was the longest, taking us from St Agnes to Bryher via Sampson. Again, there were pretty big waves and it was challenging. My shoulder was hurting, and I wasn’t sure whether I would be able to complete the full 6km, let alone the entire 15km. I had moments where I doubted my ability, I felt like my training hadn’t kicked in, I was being thrown all over the place and I just didn’t know what to do.
It was during this swim that I found myself thinking about some of the really tough, dark days I had been through with my chronic pain. The days when I struggled to see a way forwards, when I was grieving the life I had before. It was a time when I was trying to understand and accept the life I had now. A life i hadn’t planned for or expected.
Swim 3 – Bryher to Tresco, 700m
Swim 3 was only around 700m, from Bryher to Tresco, and it was the first swim where the water felt noticeably calmer.
I could feel the tide pushing us sideways so we had to swim in a slightly different direction to the one we actually wanted to go in. It was a similar feeling to when I felt like I was fighting my own body and I didnt know which direction my life would go. When I would fight to pretend I wasn’t hurting, even when I was. Most importantly, when I was fighting against the reality that I was disabled and was trying not to be disabled.
Swim 4 – Tresco to St Martin’s, 2.5km
By Swim 4, from Tresco to St Martin’s, I was really enjoying myself.
The water felt calm and peaceful, and that reflected how I had eventually come to feel about my disability. I had reached a point where I accepted that I was disabled, that I needed help sometimes, and that needing help was okay.
I realised that everyone needs help sometimes. Doing things in a slightly different way, like swimming without kicking my legs or being taken round the island by boat rather than walking isn’t a bad thing.
It’s just different.
And different is okay.
Swim 5 – St Martin’s to St Mary’s, 3km
The final 3km back from St Martin’s to St Mary’s was tough.
My shoulder was screaming at me, and at one point I wondered if I was somehow going to end up having to swim the whole way using just one arm!
It reminded me of when I first started getting back into swimming. Initially, the water hurt my legs so much that I couldn’t even get into the swimming pool. My legs felt like they were burning, and moving them made the pain worse.
But swimming meant so much to me, and I wanted to find a way back to it. I had to learn how to manage the pain, understand what my body was telling me and gradually find a way to swim again.
I approached the shoulder pain in a similar way during the Scilly Swim. I knew it was going to hurt, but I also knew it was temporary and that I had already come so far. I wasn’t going to give up but there were times when I didn’t know whether I would make it through that final swim. I kept going, adapting my stroke and listening to what my body would allow me to do and swimming next to someone else that seemed to be struggling made me feel less alone.
Eventually, whilst encouraging the other swimmer we reached St Mary’s.
The challenge was complete.
